Don't want to be me

Pictures are popping into my thoughts.  Pictures of me that I have never taken...  And I've been thinking lately; should I take pictures?

I don't like to.  I'm not okay with how my body appears.  I don't want pictures of that.  So... No.  It won't make me feel better, I'll just feel worse.
I'm sad.
Now I'm not.
See how easy it is to be me?

Except... I miss having a feeling for longer than a few seconds.  For dreaming of something only one night.  I'll only watch a movie once, because I get nothing the second time.  I can't feel.

I will be recommended the new Harry Potter movie one of these days.  The truth is... That movie is such a product of our time that I don't want to see it.  I don't want to see something that has been perfected from consumerism.  Something that was made as good as it is because there was a crowd already attached to it, and it makes money.  Audiences just hand money out to what they think is good.
I want something that is good because its personality is that way.
Harry Potter started as a low level fiction book, wonderfully designed for everyone.  It grew into a Fiction Phenomenon, and the author got better.  The first movie was simply a following.  The characters were young, their acting amateur.  But we have called the the directors for more.  We are feeding ourselves... with our own money.

I wish I could say what I feel.
Something about this Harry Potter...
Being a product of NOW.  This month.  Polarizes me.  I do not want to see it.



I am a certain person.
With uncertain thoughts.
I have a future
but it is full of...
obstacles.

I'm getting lazy.
I did nothing today.  No workout.
It rained.
But...  This isn't who i want to be.
Tomorrow I have to be that person.
Damn.



Stay beautiful