No and Yes

I did run, but I also ate more.
Because my mom was home, and I don't feel like trying to avoid things around her. But yes, I ate a 'normal' amount. I estimate an added 900 more calories. Which takes me to the 'normal' 2000 calorie diet. Good news is I had so much fun today, that normal probably wasn't good enough.
4 laps run, plus another half-hour of random run/walk at my leisure. And 32 pull-ups. Two reps of 8 and one of 16 (which I must say is quite impressive). The food goes somewhere, and its not fat. For that I can be happy.

But what I want is perfection... If I get to that point where my body is that thin; I will be outwardly perfect. I would satisfy everything in whoever that one girl ends up being. When I imagine myself as perfect, I imagine that I have someone to share that with. I don't know if that is wrong. Especially when I have to hide what I really think... I look at the people of the world and i think of how fat they are. I look at myself and I see that I am still on a journey. I'm going to get there one day; with the right freedom, and the right control. I'm going to be everything.

But the problem I am confronted with is where is that other person? The one I share my power with?

I swear; I'm not looking here... I'm just rambling... answer if you wish, but know I'm not choosing. I don't choose.
I don't even know why I dream sometimes, because I know someone else is going to get hurt by my dreams.