Someone should tell him

So i know what a minor addiction is like.  I'll one day know what major addiction is.  One of these days I'm going to shoot up with something illegal just because I want to feel the worst withdrawal of my life when it leaves me.
But for now I want to talk about ideal love.

I used to think ideal love was when two people could guess the other person's moves like it was their own.  You could lay down and predict who would talk first, and what they would say, and what your answer should be.  Then, if you somehow spoke before the other person, they could play your role and you theirs.
I used to think ideal love was a profitable exchange of two bodies.  Two people as close to perfection as they can be, paired with each other because they try just as hard.  Luck and lucrative relations keep them together.  Inevitably these two people are successful.

And then I started acting out an ideal love.  A love where I was a gentleman, where I showed this girl all the pieces of her childhood she missed out on.  By always saying she was beautiful, and not only saying it, but finding a new way to say it every time.  I no longer hesitate to see this girl; she calls and I'm there.  I do so much to make her laugh.  I hug.  I give her freedom.  I have no idea what else I do.
I don't kiss.  I don't molest her.  I touch her a lot, in a lot of places.  I'm surprised she lets me. 
She bit me.

I'm just so tired now.
I feel nauseous because I didn't get to control what I ate.


Not tired.  I could do this forever.  I'd run out of money before I ran out of anything else.
Thats why ideal love is none of those.  But sort of all of those.



stay beautiful