I saw someone I have wanted to speak to for 3 years now. It is not often we see each other, and every time I fail to take the chance I have tears streaming down my eyes.
I have more important...
Actually I can't think of anything more important than what she gives me. She is a muse. See this: http://callmelucky.deviantart.com/#/d3bdj2v
She makes me genius. She makes me sad. She would never be able to stand me because we are opposites and we couldn't even talk to each other because we have nothing to talk about.
But I would pay money for this inspiration...
Maybe if I lost weight I would look sick enough for someone to care. I have to try. I have to try. I have to just do it.
I'm vegetarian. Yes.
Now all I have to do is not snack. I'll lose weight just by not snacking. I'll get a little light headed. Its okay. I'll have a lot more caffeine. Always in the middle of the day. I can do it.
And for the comments. Thank you.
I'm sorry, usually I am a perfectly reasonable person, but I will assume I'm horrible. Because proving it wrong is difficult. Perspective plays too much of a role. I think of proving someone that they are worth something a lot like proving God does exist. You have to find them when they want to believe. If you find them when they need it... but they don't want it, then you can do nothing. I don't need to believe I am worth anything, but I don't want to believe it either.
Look at it like this:
I can only go up.
Stay beautiful
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I know how it feels when someone thinks you look great or are "too skinny" and all you want to say is, "are you blind? I'm hideous." I'm 5'4 and102 pounds...I feel so disgusting. I relate to you on so many levels...and it breaks my heart.
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