Energizer

My physical status goes something like... I've been having one meal per day.  But that will probably change today.
Food has made me ridiculously full lately.  Chewing was a little hard.

But I'm so darn happy for no reason.
I've had a lot of energy for no reason.
I also love the movie Hamlet.  I haven't even seen the whole thing, but I've downloaded it for free.  I can watch it anytime.
I've had pleasing dreams of building computers, of purchasing and purchasing and purchasing.  Cleaning the house, repairing cars, ameliorating everything.  For no good reason I've been happy.  The only thing I haven't dreamed of spending money on is food.  But I have dreamt of buying fancy cooking utensils, doing dishes, and buying clothes.

I have a paper to write.  One paper.
I have 1 calculus test to get 78% or higher on.
And I have 2 classes to show up to.

Then I'm done.  For a month.  I can starve, play my instrument, spend money, walk all day.  Anything.  I'll probably spend the time gaming with what I have.  A safe investment.  Although...  I want to build a computer just to show I can.  I know I can.

I don't exist emotionally right now.  There is nothing but freedom.  Joy every moment to be alive.
And I don't want to be happy.  But I can't control my feelings.

I long to look into a defeated human's eyes and find their sadness.  I wish sorrow like that was mine.
I'll have time after my academic formalities to search.


stay beautiful