Journey to the end

"You think about it"
you think about it.

He kept saying that.  What he really meant was "Listen to me, you do as I say"
And I kept saying no.
no.

NO.


I spent about 3 hours of my 8 hour shift (where I'm not even legally working for this guy yet) arguing with him over how impossible it is for me to work for him while I am working for someone else at the same exact time in a different location.
His English pretty much sucks.

I got home today and told my mother I ate two of the largest apples I have ever had in my life for lunch.  She said "You have to take care of yourself"
Fuck you.
Serious...  I ate far too much today.  Two apples, Two of my banana bars that I cooked, breakfast and a spaghetti dinner.  Fucking load.

I'm not going to lose weight like this.  And Its sad... because I want to lose so badly.
I stress ate today.  Felt like a balloon.

She wasn't there... Violet.
Violet didn't have work today, but she texted me.  And I couldn't respond.

My cell phone is broken.
I have a lot of work.
Work
work...

and another audition this weekend.


I'm so lonely that I hope Ks is there.  I want Ks to be my friend.
I want Violet to touch me again.
I want to see Faceless Fantasy

And I want to fight for my butterfly.


In the back of my mind I remember that I'm trying to raise money for the fight against cancer.  But I'm so worried that I'll get so caught up in work and school that I will never get to it.

The Storm... I've wanted to contact Miss Storm for a while.  We were acquaintances in high school, she is a drama major, a perfectionist, and a Shakespeare enthusiast.  She is the type of girl that takes the perfect photos and never has a hair out of place.  She has red hair and blue eyes.  I don't find her especially attractive, but I can see she is beautiful.  I've wanted to talk with her, and learn from her, in regards to Shakespeare.  Today I copied Sonnet 18 a few times.  I want to contact Storm sometime after I have memorized at least that sonnet and synthesized some Shakespearean speech of my own.

But I'm me.
I eat enough to survive
Only to have it grown out of proportion in my mind.
I work hard
but avoid work whenever I can because I'd rather be having fun
And I learn
But don't work at it, because learning shouldn't require you to be uncomfortable.  For you forget those things that you learned when you were uncomfortable.  Those things you want to let go.

What matters is how far you go

or for myself, how far I go

Stay beautiful