Neverwrong

I can't be part of anything good.
When you say that I do good deeds I tell myself on the inside I don't.  And I can't explain this.  Although it seems to me to be a defense mechanism against arrogance
Gah... When am I going to start saying things?

A long time ago when I was very hopeful I used to have a unique attitude to all things.  I used to think that it was my responsibility to try the impossible.  If someone said it couldn't be done and I wanted it, I would try for it.  I would do it, and hopefully they would watch me.  Because then they could do it.  Watch and learn...
I learned a lot of things myself by watching.  I learned how to scale streetlamps I learned how to run 5 miles.  I learned all kinds of sports.  I learned my instrument that way.  In those days I didn't think i was invincible, but it felt like I was.
I meet someone.  Someone especially beautiful.  Who I had a supernatural attraction to.
She called me arrogant.

The first time I didn't understand.  Arrogant wasn't a word in my vocabulary.  NO ONE was arrogant.  They were teaching me how to get better.  I admired those that showed off.  I loved them for they made me who I was.
Then I realized something.
Arrogant also meant isolated.  Arrogant also meant that she hated me for what I was.

And that broke me.


This is a message to all of you.  If you are arrogant you will be lost, but if you are not arrogant then you will never be found.

Stay beautiful