Days

I really don't want to be arrogant...

I just step from world to world so easily.
I suddenly just was like: oh, I'm going to eat lots of protein and do lots of exercise and work and school. And suddenly its that easy for a week (or I mean 4 days, but that is close enough to a week).
I really think its the fact that I find it so hard to care about anything. "You really should eat" okay... easy.
Its like... I don't even care about it when I starve, I don't care about it when I eat. I sometimes don't see the point of eating, and sometimes don't see the point in starving.
I mean... you don't need food for a whole day, or two, and I didn't quite do three yet because I had some liquid calories and fruit on my longest no food at all fast, but I'm quite sure three is possible.

What I really like is when it hurts.
I don't know why, but its like pain makes me happy, and the sound of loneliness makes me feel like I'm not alone.

Why is my life always so easy?
Not everything is perfect. I have English junk to do today, but I have no book because I am waiting for it to show up in the mail. The truth is, I don't care that much. I want to tell myself I will do it... But not without a book.
Would be like writing an essay in a classroom without paper when you aren't allowed to leave class.
hm...

I sometimes check up on random people I think highly of just to see how they are. RiffRaff, you might know who he is. Yeah, I looked him up. He was a really nice guy. His rehab will pass in time; what I hope for him is that he finds the love he is looking for one day. Because I think he genuinely deserves someone.

I keep forgetting everything I want to do. But I'm running at my 50%.
Some people don't understand; no matter how good you are, it isn't good enough...
I write for the people that do know what it feels like.



Stay Beautiful