SickD

I'm sick, or maybe not.
You see, I won't let myself get sick. Lately I have been getting symptoms; starting with a tenderness in my throat, a runny nose, an itching in my throat that goes away when I cough, and then my voice going hoarse. I concentrate on these... They are my enemies. I ignore the throat, I breathe gently so my nose doesn't run as much, I will not cough. And...
I sang.

Maybe this is paranoia... I wash my hands: all the time right now. When I feel like I am getting sick, I eat only certain foods. 1 cooked Egg: with nothing on it. Spinach salad. Soup. Chicken broth. Water, with ice, without ice, with ice and so on... The only food I am missing that I usually use to fight sickness is blueberries. Still, I have my breathing.
Breathe in for 6. Out for 12.
I'm a music man, I play instruments, so the tempo and the breathing all make sense to me. If I feel like a fever might be a symptom, I breathe it away. And so on...
At school I wrote down BREATHE on my paper. Large capital letters... and some fool next to me read it. "Is that some kind of a reminder?" he asked: "Yeah"- I gave him a pleasant smile- "I need to work on my breathing sometimes."
Then I wrote again. This time... in a code.
What did I write? I wrote the word SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM. all over the paper. But he couldn't understand it... I did it in hieroglyphics and Morse Code. If you would like... I could teach you; if we ever met in person. No one understands the fight. I can tell them. But no one gets it.

... By the way... All the sudden I notice followers. I'm sorry i didn't post for a long time; I will make sure to explain the absence over posts (I may not say "this is why I was gone," but I will talk about F-F; and that is kinda why). I'll try to tell the truth.

I learned today
1. Obama signed legislation that makes crimes against lesbians or gays for reasons of sexual orientation equal to that of hate crime (may not sound significant, but if you know more about how hard they crack down on hate crime it shows how this actually is a step forward).
2. Hydrogen Peroxide, in household use is about 3% hydrogen peroxide. You have to go to specialty chemical stores and get 30% H2O2, considered "extra strength" by some people.