Absence Future

I'm going to go for a while, not be here, because I have to focus on school. And I'm not. First an update, then I go. 2 weeks should be fine.

I miss this.
I looked at myself in the mirror, everything is okay again, except some things are better; I look 'healthier' and if I flex, I can see lines under my skin. This in my mind translates to losing the small layer of fat that used to cover my muscle, and now I look like a replica of a muscle diagram- when flexing.
The bad news to this awesome loss of weight is I will not be able to go farther. Not for months, in fact I will have to gain weight. I am too cold to live without some fat. I can't run. I'm going to gain from losing that, and it is going to be more difficult to find the time to do these things. I'm not going to be as motivated- and even if I was, the cold breaks me down. When I gave blood my temperature was low- almost to the point that they wouldn't let me give blood, and when I said my approximate weight the woman gave me the eye. First off, it felt awesome, but it explains a lot of where I am and where I could be. This winter, if I give blood enough, things shouldn't feel so bad- about being fatter.
Lower temperature explains how susceptible I am to the cold. When I jump into a cold pool on a hot summer day, I suddenly lose energy. I call this 'cold shock' and a long time ago when I was smaller, I would eventually get used to the temperature of the pool. Now, things continue to worsen, and the shock runs deeper. On one of the hottest days of summer, I went to a water-park where the water is very cold, and where the rest of my friends were fine, not even shivering when the slight breeze hit them, I had purple lips, my teeth chattered for hours straight, and I was tired. Being that cold probably burns a lot of calories.
Cold wears me down.
I'm going to leave. I know leaving will not make my life better immediately. I am so cold.

I tried riding my bike today to school to see how long it would take (no school for me today) and I got a flat tire. Had to walk back.

I hate how if I wear more clothes it doesn't block out the cold more. All my clothes are just baggy enough that they fit, but they let the cold find a small passageway to you, and that minuscule patch of flesh that cold finds freezes everything. With 3 pairs of gloves on I walked outside, and my fingers immediately felt like they frosted; the worst part about this is that it never snows here. I'm complaining when this isn't even relatively cold. Winter is going to kill me.

Thanks for reading,
Goodluck
Find Beauty.

Fated2One