Undergraded

Some people have life so easy.

Some people...
Sorry for my absence, while some people I know have had people to clean up for them, I have been endlessly turning over the soil of my life and finding... its dirty.  I'm all mud and earth.
First off, I haven't posted since my most recent of great sins.  I'm sorry, but that information might just be left out of here.  It made me sick.
I am sick.
My mind is sick.
People call the way I think sick.
No matter.

Those people have life so easy...  They should try harder.  I'm always striving for something.  Right now, its the grades.  Grinding my head against stone, making cornmeal with my poor intelligence and selling it for minimal wares.  I don't know much, but I try to learn.

By the way... as an aside I would like to mention how much I distrust the phrase "I know"
I have been trying to catch myself, if I ever want to say "I know" I stop.  Because do I know?  And also, most of the time you say "I know" in response to a mistake.  You should be apologizing, not stubbornly acknowledging that YOU KNOW.
Chances are you didn't know, and it doesn't make a difference you know now.  All you are doing is showing what you could have been if you only tried harder. 
Try harder...
Trying...

I'm trying to learn, but somehow even though I am the student with the most participation in the lectures, the student that can demonstrate superior knowledge on the subject... somehow I miss things on the exam.  I don't mess up on a large scale, but I mess up enough that I get 87% or 90%.  And "I KNOW" this shit.
Or maybe I don't.
And I shouldn't assert that I do.
I just frustrated myself by saying I knew...
I guess...
I guess I don't deserve the grade.
Its just been so much work
and I wish something came out of it.

I try.


Some people have life so easy
It makes me wonder
Do they try>?



Stay Beautiful