Awake too late

I woke up refreshed. Empty.

I'd like to add I felt no need to masturbate. That's always one of the pluses of fasting in my eyes. I don't have to waste time or emotion attempting to be loved or love myself. I'm already in the process of perfecting myself.

Just changing helps. When you feel terrible it really does help to change something. With change comes sacrifice of course, which is probably why the general public hates to change so much. Even something as simple as the somewhat recent change of California law where plastic bags are no longer used at grocery stores was met with a ton of initial resistance. Because people didn't want to sacrifice their time and effort to use recycle bags... Silly when you look at it now. Back then some people thought it was important.

What I think is important might seem suicidal to others. Maybe impossible for those that haven't seen much of the world. But I know its possible. I know the chances are slim. Its like buying a lottery ticket and not expecting to win, but expecting that if I lived forever or at the right year then I'll hit the jackpot.

Whats nice about this dream is that I'm in control of whether it happens to come true or not. Just me.
If I plan accordingly everything will be as it needs to.



My life is going to change.
I can feel it.