normal

Sharing information isn't always easy.

Do I tell you that there are 7 years between us or do I tell you that I fall in love if you meet a certain standard of beauty and you exceed that? When I choose the first I pull away from a relationship and if I choose the other I embrace it.

I honestly
do not want to embrace anything.
Not while pursuing destruction... Painless... destruction.


What is the least painful way to die? Have you ever asked that question? Have you ever shared all the answers you tried to think of with another person? When you share that information what did you not say that you had the opportunity to?
You know how limited time is when your actions destroy future opportunities.


Maybe I've killed my chances.





Interesting contrast: sometimes the topic of another person's body comes up in an eating disorder forum or from someone recovered or having an eating disorder. Often when its a female she will tell the other person how beautiful or thin they are. As an observer you can see that the person giving the compliment can often times be thinner and even likely prettier.
I have no such veil over my eyes. I see people how they are. There are flaws in every person. Sometimes the flaws dwell in the shadow of perfection and those people can capture the hearts of strangers or the mind of a dreamer.

I see myself and I look normal. I can't STAND looking normal.

This is why I change.