Thinking about posting a lot

One of my friends, Watson, said tonight "now I know how it feels to be anorexic."
you don't even notice that I'm anorexic...

I volunteered at a lavishly rich party where there was caviar, and mashed potato martinis and random pies and luscious cheeses and everything rich people eat. I DIDN'T EAT A THING. And I was actually tempted... So so tempted. Watson hardly ate, but the food was so rich that it filled him up; thus the "now I know..." He said it felt like he hadn't eaten but was full.
I was empty. I hadn't eaten. I had nothing but water that whole party, spending as much or more energy than you. its hard. Being anorexic is freaking hard.

You don't know how it feels, because you can never be satisfied as an anorexic. Its always that your body needs to be thinner, or you are hungry/tempted and it is killing you, or you are empty, but you aren't normal. You are suffering from an illness.

We collected $104 of donations tonight.

A girl flirted with me tonight. She was nice. Her name is S. (I don't disclose actual names). It was pretty obvious to me... she was really nice, and sometimes she smiled too much to me and only me. You should put your best face forward, but don't focus it on me please... unless...
I want to kill the picky me. I'm tired of no one being good enough. But it is almost true.
I have seen Perfection. She is the reason why communicating with F-F halted for a time. I still have feelings for F-F. I still like her, I still romanticize about forever, and tomorrow, and just us. Perfection is a sort of an obstacle to me. When I let Perfection enter my mind... I get angry. Perfection can't be reached. I do not ever see Perfection in my everyday life. If you told me to choose between Perfection and F-F, I would choose F-F; but I know that I only want to see Perfection die. I want to see Her life end, so that I never have to think about her again.
I never have to think... that what I want... is actually out there.


She looks likes she might be one of us...

Stay Beautiful