The closest I can get

This is what I remember about being sick.
Hunger

And yet I can't eat. I'm too upset. I'm too angry. I'm out of control. And the only way to assert myself is to

break



Today was a holiday.
For many of those people with eating disorders this was a bad day.
Amen.

It was a bad day for me too.




I just can't shake my mood off. I'm so easily annoyed. I'm seeing the worst and weakest in everyone I meet. I'm getting jealous over people having friendships and people being in the position to walk away from people without feeling like its depriving them of something. I feel like if I let anyone go I'll miss them too much. I already miss everyone I've lost. But I'm alone for a reason: I'm a parasite.


Its too hard to make myself feel better so I need to help others feel better because its the closest thing I can get.