Taking time

I am supposed to conform; Follow orders.

But I never let it be that easy. Everything has to be done in my tine at the right place. And with this mind I wonder if the place will ever be alright because I've lost track of what is real because of these dreams. I don't remember what I have done because I've dreamed so many alternative plot-lines  All I remember is the feeling of dissatisfaction of messing up ever time I go back in time to change things.

The only memories that I know are real are the ones that came from smell. For some reason my nose is the only part of me on my side.
I remember the smell of a new friend.
The smell of coffee in a comfortable place where I can accomplish things.
I remember the smell of my feet right now. Its atrocious. At least I know this moment isn't another dream. Although... once I publish this post it is difficult to deny writting the content of the post itself.

But the comments.
I think one of the comments labelled anonymous is me.
But I can't remember.

I do remember seeing a goldfish alone in a bowl from a roommate. But then I can't remember what my hands did as they hovered over the keyboard. I don't remember anything else from that dream or reality.


I don't understand how I lost all this time.
I woke up and it was 8am
I think it took me an hour to get to breakfast. so 9am
it is currently 10:41am
I don't know what happened.


stay beautiful