Bridges

The lowest weight me would be more than disappointed in the current me. He would be angry at me.
Granted he hated almost everyone, which was sad because I know how lonely he was... and still is.

But I looked at myself as him a little bit ago.
I think I understand what trigger means now.
It was simultaneously standing in front of an audience of glaring faces and being that audience.
Torn between two realities I was consumed with a desire to occupy neither space and no space. I think I yearned for death, but I always dream of the end.

I went to a church once and I remember the preacher standing on some makeshift bridge telling us that our destiny awaited us on the other side and something about Jesus, God, or the Holy Spirit being on the other side with open arms. THat it was so simple to cros the bridge an no real danger was ahead. At least that is what I imagine he said.
All I could think about was what it felt like to have your bridge collapse and fall into the abyss below.


stay beautiful