Relief by mob

Ran in a mob.
Of naked people.
Naked

Why? because others were doing it. because I don't feel like I have much time left here. because it allowed me to take the burden I felt and throw it in to the mob.
No one felt like I do
Diffusion so to speak

And... I'm still feeling like I was never sad in my life. High off the happiness of others.
But how long will that last?

Only...
I knew this.
I know my happiness depends on others. I need other people to be happy and I need to make THEM happy for me to be happy.


Otherwise I feel this intense hungering
never getting full or satisfied
dragging myself sad
and stubborn
refusing to get help or help myself
Not giving a damn
Wanting death
wishing it on others
Hate
and more hate

So this is the alternative. To live vicariously the life of a happy pig.
Eat and feel full
Even if that is not what I personally believe in or feel myself
I'll just plug myself in to the feelings of others like some robot

Reflecting on it...
I don't want it to be either way
just want... a future


stay beautiful