Dark Rabbit

There isn't a point to having a better body.
:(
Every day is so...
All I'm doing is wasting time

Its really pathetic that because of emotional turmoil I couldn't learn something yesterday. And that because I'm sad I don't do enough work.
I wish I could get warm.
And find food worth eating.

I hate how I don't have an appetite and I have to eat because I can't think as clearly or its been a few hours. I want to feel hungry, but at the same time I don't like hunger. Its nice because I actually want something instead of simply trying to hoard the best resources I can, but hunger also is a time of less control.
So even if I do feel hungry I'd rather suppress it than admit to it.


I hate the way my life is right now.
The people annoy me.
I hate myself.


I'm interested in the information out there... I just can't trust it.
I'm not sure how I'm living life... but I don't think I trust myself either.

I feel like I sleep or something during the day because I'll count my heartbeats and then the day is almost over. I'll be looking at something and it will be long gone before I look away. I'll be spending time talking to someone and they have to go. And when they go I have nowhere to be myself. What am I supposed to be doing right now?

I've failed.
I know it.
I hope vainly that I can continue even with my failures behind me.
But I doubt I can even exist like this for much longer.

I wonder what will happen when this all crumbles.
Will the world end in that many days, hours and minutes?



stay beautiful