For all the gone

There were a few times where I was telling myself I was suffering enough to blog about it
And I only now get around to blogging
When I've forgotten what it all felt like

Vicarious emotions...
Last night I saw productions
Stage emotion bouncing in a room. Angry words and racial relationships and the evil of the womanizer.
I hate having to bear it
But... someone else probably hates it too when it actually happens to them and isn't just pretend.
I'll never be hated like that
It is very unlikely for me to be refused something because of my race
My diversity is boring
I know nothing of my past
Do I even have one?

I hate culture because it leads to nowhere
If everyone held on to their culture until their knuckles turned white then we wouldn't get to talk about it. And while I'd like to be open minded... I'd like to also question the purpose of a culture.
What does identity matter when individually we mean so little?

And no you don't get to believe what you want to believe
I don't get to believe what I want.
I don't get to be accepted for my beliefs.
So if your beliefs are unacceptable the same to you


For the most part men don't seem to like women with curves
For all the organizations pushing for women with curves to have state recognized beauty... good for you
but I don't see the point.
I can find beauty in a person, but optimal beauty doesn't look lumpy.
Do I get to tell the world what beauty is?
no...

I actually like this room
and one of my roommates really respects me
But...
I constantly feel like I should be leaving this life
and shouldn't make bonds because of that

When I move on from this life
I'll simply be dead
no spirit
no afterlife
dead

No more friends


stay beautiful