Don't be calm

He talked in third person to her.  He didn't try to make sense.  The clearest words from his mouth were "I'm not going to argue with you.  It is only the intellectually lost who argue."
Little did she know... he didn't say anything the whole time.  He was a book.

Then I looked her in the eye and said that I was perfectly sane and she could trust me.  I was doing things with my life and working hard to be a good person.  I told her my day had been good.

And she said it was scarier that I said that so calmly than anything else I had done.



But I know how I was acting.  I was playing games.  Beautiful games.

I'm lonely.
And for some reason that matters so much to me that I find it hard to think.


I'll try to be intelligent some other time okay?

Thank you readers... the number count always changing when i go to my blog helps.  pageviews... I need to remember these words.  They are so simple...
Perspicacity: some kind of insight.  Something smart to be said or done.


Oh, I was at a Relay for Life.  The one I was supposed to Logistics for.  I set up for a lot of the event.  And... I was one of the few volunteers.  I led people that were not volunteers into helping.  And when the event started I felt so void and so much anxiety I had to go.  I couldn't stay.  People are walking right now... but I'm home because I was scared of something.  Or maybe it was the crying...
I couldn't take it anymore.
I did not belong.



stay beautiful