Symmetry

Symmetry means something like "same measurement."
I really wish I could aim for something like that. I would like to be the same size as those really small girls. Or I'd like to be my own male form of perfection, tall, toned, thin. So thin it scares people, so thin it is surprising that I am as agile as I am.
I'm not getting there anytime soon.

Can I at least say that school is to blame?
Except it isn't... I'm eating a lot of food because I'm hungry. I don't get it... Thats not why you eat, you EAT TO LIVE.
NOT LIVE TO EAT.

I feel constantly hungry. And so I am constantly eating.

I feel good that I have done multiple 11 mile runs. I can easily hoist my instrument, I've been getting the sleep I need and I have purged again. Sometimes I even binge on good foods like salad, or carrots, or apples or strawberries.
I eat half of dinner.
Everything is low calorie.
But I eat so much... And I always finish the other half of my dinner the next day.

I don't like failing, but I'm doing a lot of it. Especially in school. But I got lucky and I whipped out a really good speech the morning before it was due: like presented due. I also need a haircut.

I'm going to shave my head in the summer for the first time ever.
I decided it... I'll update as the date gets near, but its in July. I will also disappear shortly afterward because of Drum and Bugle Corps.
I feel confident I will be on track a lot better in the summer. I have already tried reducing the meals in Drum Corps, and I was able to do it. And I have started the habit of working out on top of all the exercises they have us do.
I'm ready for that at least.

And I have another camp in April coming up. I'll get to test myself again there.


Another Symmetry idea happens to be with my body. My left side of my abs was not the same as the right. I figured it out, when I do twists, I go a little stronger to one side, thus developing that side more. So it wasn't symmetrical. But I have been working on it. I shall correct that.
I hate how I have flaws...
But I'm erasing them. Eventually I will run out of flaws to erase.


For all of you readers I hope that you all have the patience it takes to lose your flaws.
If you wait for long enough, you shall shed your skin.
It does take a constant effort.
Just remember: The way you make your bed is they way you sleep in it.

Stay Beautiful