Shadowed Luck

I have said I am tired.

Physically I am not tired. But emotionally I'm tired of running from the sadness. Yes, I'm sad. I am very sad.
But the worst part is I can't feel it. My life is crumbling to motes of dust, spread all over the surface. I'm thinly stretched. My will is nonexistent. I am disappointed in myself. I'm failing. I don't even reach out to the world because I don't know if I care. I can't feel a thing.
I don't know why I said all of that. I don't feel it at all.

What I feel... if I could describe it... is like when you are searching for a certain word.
The feeling when you had the word in your head for just a second, and it went somewhere else in your mind and suddenly you can't remember it again. But it was a second ago that you knew. You feel like you should know this word.

Instead of a word though... its depression. Its a blue void in the back of my head. I can't feel it, but I know it is there. I can't remember how it feels to be sad.
I miss it dearly.

I wish I was sad.


Stay Beautiful