Friday is Today?

I have stress from school and all this extra baggage is getting me to devour everything. Its all unhealthy.

I only ran 7 miles yesterday, my ipod malfunctioned and I decided to turn back. There was hardly anyone running on the trail and it was cold.
Today is cold.

It is so cold I it hurts. Dammit, I hate having a weakness. I hate that it is such a common thing. I'm getting destroyed by this chill. Its nothing more than a chill...

I thought about it. I'm 6'1" (maybe taller) and 140 pounds, so I have a lot of surface area to density. I am exposed to more cold, and I have a larger body to warm up. So logically cold should effect me more than most people.
Its just ridiculous.

I want to be lazy. I already know I am going to fail 3 out of 6 classes at least. I could fail more if I don't whip out something extraordinary very soon. On top of that I don't have any classes next semester, and my chances of getting what I need are small.
I want it to be 100 Fahrenheit, or 40 Centigrade (I know 40 centigrade is lower). When it is that temperature I don't have to heat up my own body. The only dangers are sunburn and dehydration. And I love fighting those.
It is hard to fight your own body.

I have had to do a lot of that lately.

Sorry, I have been eating and eating and eating.
... failure begets failure...
This weekend I won't be able to post, or talk to anyone.
I will be at drum and bugle corps, trying my hardest to skip a meal. I need this to prove to myself again that I am Ana.

And I'm sorry to all the people that think I should recover, because it would be nice to live long and well.
But I need to show this world it can be done.


Stay Beautiful