I have few enough friends and I get so attached that I find it very difficult to make new ones. And then people leave me and I just want to retreat. Starve. Become less.
I remember what it was like being dizzy. Sure it was lonely, but it was hazy and didn't hurt as much. Living life on empty was my painkiller for the loneliness that I can't fight.
I don't have it in me to fight...
But its my fault for losing the people I care about. Still it seems cruel ironic that when my mind changes and I fall in love with someone they have to leave me. They can't even stick around and let my convince them that I have changed back.
And I didn't even do anything to prompt it.
Just a few words...
Stay beautiful
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