Anxiety rushes doing what I'm supposed to.
I find it difficult to do as I should.
You should get a job.
You should do your homework.
You should do the dishes.
You should move out.
You should make new friends.
I want to. But how?
My own body defies me.
Makes me want other things because the things I should be doing are the things I can't do. Like the repulsion of a magnet, the node of an antibond. I can't communicate, can't bring myself near enough to touch the actions I need. Can't cross the threshold. I have a problem existing on that line.
This whole time I'm thinking of someone I lost.
Its almost like she died. And for that I guess I am still in mourning.
But I know its useless to invest your hope
in anyone.
Even myself.
stay beautiful
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