My general mood is throw up.
And I finally realized why I feel so sick. I'm heart grieved. Still a little hurt from a dose I took years ago. It hurt a lot a long time ago, but I knew it would never be enough to kill me. Its come back. I cry from one eye, bleed from one nostril, fall asleep with one half of my brain at a time.
Well I'm awake now. I can do anything. I can face my fear even though it is nowhere to be seen.
Did you notice that I ate more than you did? I did. Did you see how when we walked together it was always you that got ahead. I saw. Did you feel how much you smiled when I could barely lift the corners of my mouth? I watched jealously.
Every day I see your soul shine like the sun and I'm afraid that you will burn out. You burn too bright; I have seen you flicker on a day when you were low on fuel. My modest flame will outlast yours, but I'll never give off the light you do. What is my life worth when it is smaller than yours in significance and fatter than yours in stature...
I can't hope to continue the legacy you left me.
stay beautiful
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