Wanting to rename this blog

Some updates.
More failures.
Audition lead to not making a spot. In fact I was asked what the point of auditioning was because I was so unimpressive. And I knew that would happen. But something in me told me it was worth trying for. I needed to try for something for my own sake...

I lost a considerable amount of weight. A grand total of 2 lbs.
Sad huh? Well... I hit the barrier; I climbed the fence into unhealthy practices. I got Anemic. Formal diagnosis. I actually got iron supplements as a prescription. Isn't that cool? I'm showing a symptom of the greater disease. My true metal self, along with the bones under the flesh, is starting to reveal itself.
I want to be diagnosed... But I don't even feel good enough for that.


I volunteered a long time ago to have my DNA registered for bone marrow donation. Turns out I'm a match for a 12 year old. A serious match. And even though I am Anemic I get to give my bone marrow. Exciting...
Want to know what one of my favorite parts about this is? I'll be losing a liter of bone marrow. That is a liter of weight gone for a while. I'll lose weight. Not the fat I want to lose... not the muscles that I could lose to look better in some places, but at least the number will go down.

What else is new?
Over this period of no updates I turned in my applications. I might just be declined for the places I applied to.
And when I've failed at that what do I do? Where do I turn? I've spent too much time already in community college, studying almost nothing. I've been taking all the wrong classes for the career path I want. But I don't care what I do with my career. I can do anything. I'm strong. I'm resourceful. I know how to make people happy.
Something else that changed... I only use one space after a period. I notice it.

I also want to rename this blog.
I don't know what to...

For 3 days I've eaten a regular diet. This disturbs me...
I went for weeks without a regular day. Maybe that is what I was spending all my time doing...
I might have gained a pound back.
I can feel my heart working harder... but I'm not getting anywhere.
At least there is the future to look forward to.
December 15th is the day I donate my bone marrow


stay beautiful