Its harder to think all the time now. I've been on a restricted diet for a long time now. I'm down to 140lbs again. If I keep this up I might hit a new November low.
I stopped practicing my instrument. I stopped doing the schoolwork the day before it is due. I haven't done a run in a long time, BUT I have been eating less.
Enough of a difference to make a difference.
I'm tired all the time. I can feel my body eating itself. I feel weaker and thinner. The abs are always visible... but its only because I've lost almost everything that could have covered them before.
And yet... i don't feel accomplished enough. I need to go further and lose more weight. If I skipped dinner entirely, instead of eating one slice of pizza... How much thinner could I be? Its one of the few things I've eaten today and in retrospect I'm sad I had to give in.
I've lost my brain. The only terms I can use are the simple ones.
Tomorrow I wake up early, I have school for 6 hours, an hour break, and then work for 3 hours. I plan to be so exhausted after those that all I will want to do is sleep, but I'll munch down some dinner, take a run; hoping to burn it all away, and then sleep to wake up to almost an identical schedule.
Enough days of this and I'll be thin.
Oh... and something else.
I really want to take a picture of someone that I know on facebook and get a printout of it to put on my wall. I want to see her sexy face and sexy legs in my room.
But... even this won't make me happy.
stay beautiful
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment