Blanket

For once in my life I am struggling to learn.


I keep examining myself and thinking of how little I actually know.
I think I have a talent for assimilating knowledge but not quite for mastering it. This is why my mind is so eclectic, but never specific enough for me to love myself.

My body is especially abhorable right now.
I don't know why I eat so much here... I thought at first I would eat less because I finally have the freedom to do so. I know if I were cooking for myself I would hardly eat at all. I wish it were that way now.
Bloated feeling.

What annoys me more is how I feel slightly fatigued every day and how deeply I sleep at night.
I feel like the inclines and stairs here are the cause of this. I'm humiliated because I would like to think I'm stronger than that.


I even stop to think if I should run or not.
I'm getting too weak for myself.

I feel like if I try to get strong I'll push myself into disease- like a cold. Not disease like a disorder.


stay beautiful