I'm sick of myself.

I feel sick right now... My stomach is turning over from what I have been doing with my life.
I want to stop exercising, I want to stop school. I want to stop work and trying to talk to people.
Right now I have this desire to lose weight. To be light like a feather...

I don't even understand it... I'm not EDNOS to lose weight... I'm EDNOS to be in control of my body. Right now I am on autopilot. I want to starve for a day- just one day- to show who really is in control.
But dammit, my body wouldn't take a good fast right now. I'd faint, I'd be too weak, I couldn't do it... I wouldn't be in control.


I should have a confession to make here, but I won't say a thing about what I've done wrong.


Month long absence starts tonight.
I'll come back with a reason to work hard again...



Stay Beautiful