I'm close to 120lbs. I mean... I weighed at 120.0 lbs this morning and I haven't eaten all of today or yesterday. My body has been good to me in that I only feel a lack of strength. I don't feel weakness.
I'm afraid of tomorrow. The day on the calendar that makes me afraid to want love. Since what does it do to me to have it fall to pieces? Can I love the pieces of love? Will I be loved tomorrow?
I should say that I have been seeing someone. She is everything I want. Its tough to deal with the unknown of wondering if I am at all anything that she wants. Maybe the way i have treated her- which has been immaculately endearing- will convince her to keep me around. I have plans tomorrow with her and I plan to do an evening first kiss at a scenic place. I'm so afraid of failure, but I still need to try.
In my mind I'm not sure if I want to eat tomorrow. Fasting has been keeping my mind clear, which helps with the stress I feel at fear of failure.
I have an interview for a job that pays basically minimum wage tomorrow. I think that it is slightly higher pay than my current job. There are many people in the first world that would find my existence to be pathetic or of low value. Don't worry, I share the same feelings for myself like any reasonable person would.
Hopefully I won't have to feel that way for very long.
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