Seasonal

I'm more of a wana-rexic. Really, its pathetic. Ana has really strong emotional bonds to me... but I don't act it too often because of fear.

I'm so paranoid. So so paranoid. I'm more paranoid than I am afraid of fat.
I'm lazy. When it is cold, or I feel like I can't do more... I don't do more. Sometimes I can work up to that point, but when it gets there I stop. I would like to know where I could go with this disease, but I'm always so worried about the immediate reaction...

It gets harder. With work and school as committing as they are. The cold is my excuse, but I know when it warms up I'm still not going to be able to go full throttle, or go like that for long.
I want to hurt myself. I really do.
The scars are like a pretty fantasy... like if I had some burn scars on my back I would be beautiful. Mysterious... like how did he get that?
Yeah, I burned myself. I'm tough. I hurt inside, and I let it leak to the surface in a hot surge of pain. It would burn so bad... but I deserve it.

You were always the happy person, the one that never worried about what people thought of you. There was something different about you, something brought you to realize that you didn't have to try for other people and you worked for yourself.
yeah, but you don't know that what I want... Is greater than this. I have plans.
It has to happen.



Stay Beautiful