Blue Screen

I remember reading long ago how strange it is that blue isn't the color of many foods. It was hypothesized that the color would have appetite suppressing effects, or at the very least not stimulate appetite because its not as alluring as the colors red or green.


I was never quite satisfied with blue being that simple. After all, if we had taken what we now call a green light and just used blue instead our associations with the color could be changed entirely. Sometimes something fits into its place and then we try to talk in a way to make it fit even more into its niche.


I feel blue.
I have people telling me why its good that I lost 5 years of hair. People that tell me I'm on the path to success when I do nothing for myself.

Its so sad too because I know what I want, but I have no desire to attain it.




I also know that I'm crippled. The battery life on my phone feels like it has a direct plug into my sanity. As it approaches zero I feel the rapids pull me towards panic, and yet I've fallen down that drain before. I know how calm it is to be in the eye of the whirlpool. But I hate it there because there is nothing to occupy my mind and all I have to look at is blue.

I don't want a blue screen.